March
2009
Why We Love Who We Love
I was scanning my notes when a dirty-looking handwriting of mine catches my attention.[lol] That was all about one of the selection I’ve encounterred while having our review in english for the coming DAT entitled Why We Love Who We Love by Joyce Brothers. Some of the passages of that selection are as follows:
What mysterious force drives us into the arms of one person, while pushing us away from another who might appear equally desirable to any unbiased observer? Of the many factors influencing our idea of the perfect mate, one of the most telling, according to John Money, professor emeritus of medical psychology and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, is what he calls our ‘lovemap‘–a group of messages encoded in our brains that describes our likes and dislikes. It shows our preferences in hair and eye color, in voice, smell, body build. It also records the kind of personality that appeals to us, whether it’s the warm and friendly type or the strong, silent type.In short, we fall for and pursue those people who most clearly fit our lovemap. And this lovemap is largely determined in childhood. By age eight, the pattern for our ideal mate has already begun to float around in our brains.When we’re little, our mother is the center of our attention, and we are the center of hers. So our mother’s characteristics leave an indelible impression, and we are forever after attracted to people with her facial features, body type, personality, even sense of humor. If our mother was warm and giving, as adults we tend to be attracted to people who are warm and giving. If our mother was strong and even-tempered, we are going to be attracted to a fair-minded strength in our mates.Just as mothers influence their son’s general feelings toward women, fathers influence their daughter’s general feelings about men. If a father lavishes praise on his daughter and demonstrates that she is a worthwhile person, she’ll feel very good about herself in relation to men. But if the father is cold, critical or absent, the daughter will tend to feel she’s not very lovable or attractive.
What about opposites? Are they really attracted to each other? Yes and no. In many ways we want a mirror image of ourselves. Physically attractive people, for example, are usually drawn to a partner who’s equally attractive.
In addition, most of us grow up with people of similar social circumstances. We hang around with people in the same town; our friends have about the same educational backgrounds and career goals. We tend to be most comfortable with these people, and therefore we tend to link up with others whose families are often much like our own.
Cute right? Even I myself find it interesting that’s why I posted it here.. hehe.. But this doesn’t mean I’m taken, I’m the opposite of it.
