A Reflection in the Mirror

In the Midst of Our Anniversary

We’d reached a year already just this day, yet I must admit I can’t feel the spirit of being delighted and amazed that we’ve gone this far ‘coz just this midnight we had an argument which I really hated the most. I can feel that he’s ready to let go of me- perhaps he don’t want me on his life. Is it really that?  Who could precisely explain it to me why is he giving me an option against my will?? Anyone? I’ve been in a dilemma with this relationship this past few days. Things are going tough for both of us specially on his part. The reason? He’s emotionally down due to some predicament he’s currently facing. He even told me that he want himself dead to end up all the can of worms in an instant- with just a snap of a finger. Just how hard it is for me to hear him saying that. As his girl, much more as his chum, I wanted to give him a company, talk to him solemnly and discuss those matters that kept on twisting his brains back ad forth… I wanted to be his pain absorber.. My guilt’s killin me everytime I see him acting that way- wan’t to cut his life off. But how can I help him when he don’t even let me get updated on what’s going on with his life now? He wants to carry the burden of his problem by himself. With that scenario, I see myself useless- a crap which should be dumped to.

“wag mo kasi solohin yang problema mo, ano pang silbi ko bilang gf mo kung di man lang kita matulungan jhan.. di mo kasi alam ang feeling na gustong-gusto mong pagaanin loob ng mahal mo pero di mo alam panu mo sisimulan.“ *sigh in depression..

Gang, you don’t have to be somebody just to have me,keep me waitin and lovin you. As what I’ve been tellin you before, I don’t need any of yer possession - what I need is YOU! I hope to spend another hours, days, weeks, months or even another year with you if yer just willing to. You was never in my vocabulary. Until one day.. You became the only word I know. I’m desperate to patiently wait for u if you just let me even if I know that I might lose you with just a glimpse. But it’s a risk I must go through if that’s the only way to have you.

Posted under: something about love